Taking the risk
by anthrogirl6
Summary: Andy is about to learn that she needs to get over her fear if she's going to find true happiness. Luckily, she has friends and family to help her along the way. S/A, later J/T
1. Chapter 1

This chapter follows the end of Season 1. This is my first fanfiction. I do not own Rookie Blue or any of its characters. Hope you enjoy:) Let me know what you think.

It had been two weeks since the undercover operation and 15th's biggest drug bust, but somehow Andy's feelings of anxiety were still plaguing her. Sam's words of reassurance had given her perspective—she didn't have to fake it any more. She and her fellow rookies had survived their probation, and although they were still considered 'rookies,' their participation in the drug bust had earned them a little more respect. Andy's father had successfully completed his first few months of sobriety, and the ending of Andy's lease was around the corner, soon to be followed by her move with Luke. After a two week stretch of what seemed like endless shifts, Andy was looking forward to lunch with her dad.

"Dad, it's so good to see you like this. I know the past few months must have been tough, but I'm so proud of you," Andy smiled, holding her father's hand across the table.

"Thanks, Andy. I'm just happy that I can be there for my little girl. I wish I could have been a better father while you were growing up."

"You did the best you could. I know it wasn't easy raising a daughter on your own. And doing this job, I now understand how much you've dealt with for so many years. It's physically and emotionally draining. "

Tommy put his drink down and looked at his daughter. He could see it more clearly now that he was sober—something was troubling his daughter. "Andy, what's the matter? I've been noticing for the past couple weeks that something's been bothering you. What's going on?"

Andy looked down at her unfinished meal, frowning. "I dunno, Dad. I guess I'm just a little nervous about moving in with Luke. I mean, it's the mature thing to do, but you know me—I haven't been the best at relationships in the past. I just don't wanna screw this up."

"Andy, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Are you in love with Luke?"

Andy was shocked. Her father had never asked her directly about how she felt about any of her previous boyfriends, unless he was consoling her about a break up. "I—I guess."

"You guess? Sweetheart, I know I haven't been the best at relationships either, but I do know when I've been in love. I like Luke, I do. He seems like a good guy. A workaholic and a little into himself, but he's young and at the top of his game. But I just don't see that he makes you happy. If you were happy, nothing else would matter."

"He does, Dad. I mean, of course there are things that I wish were different."

"Like what things?"

"I dunno," Andy said, shifting in her seat, showing her frustration. "He- he doesn't always see when something's bothering me. And sometimes I wish that he understood me better. But we're still near the beginning of this relationship. I mean there are supposed to be problems."

"Honey, the beginning of the relationship is where there are supposed to be the least problems. You should be feeling that this guy gets you better than most. You should be feeling excited and passionate at this point."

Andy sighed, shaking her head slightly. "Passionate, Dad? Passion is dangerous. No one leaps into the fire without getting burned. Look at you and mom," she said quietly, hoping the reference to her mother wouldn't hurt her father.

"Andy, but if you don't leap into the fire when the time is right, you'll freeze. Your mother and I may not have worked out well, it was a disaster in fact, but I can't say I'm sorry. Look at what that passion brought me? The thing I cherish most in this world—my little girl." Tommy smiled, holding his daughter's chin up, "Look at me, Andy. I don't want you to ever be scared of love. I know I didn't set a good example for you, I didn't handle your mother leaving well. But things don't have to be the same for you. I want you to experience real love and true happiness, and to do it without fear. Sure, you'll be a little scared, but the risk is worth it."

The next week had seemed busier than most. She had ended her relationship with Luke over the weekend, much to his dismay, and she was a little nervous to see how they'd interact on the job. She had been as kind to him as she could—telling him that it wasn't fair to either of them if she continued to move forward when she knew her heart wasn't in it. Andy explained to him that in addition to the fact that his job seemed to take precedence over her as far as his priorities were concerned, she understood that there was a difference between loving someone and being in love, and their relationship resembled the former. He didn't seem to put up much of a struggle and instead stormed away, muttering something about her TO under his breath.

On the other hand, at work Andy seemed to be getting more of a handle on thing, and she felt a new surge of confidence since her undercover op as Lessing's girlfriend. She had been disappointed at being approached by David Donahue, the head of Guns& Gangs, to write a review for Sam as part of his application process. Although she knew her review would contribute to the likelihood of Sam moving to Guns& Gangs, she couldn't be responsible for interfering with Sam's career again and holding him back from what he had wanted for so long. To make things worse, Dov had relayed gossip that Sam and a certain ER doctor had been seeing each other again.

They had been riding back to the barn before Sam attempted to re-initiate conversation. "So I heard about you and Callahan. You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It just didn't feel right. I don't wanna freeze."

"What? Are you cold," he asked, turning down the ac.

"No, it's just…nothing." Andy was not in the mood to chat today, and her silence only encouraged Sam's desire to talk.

"So Donahue said you wrote me a Tolstoy review—15 pages. You tryin' to get rid of me, McNally?" Sam joked, his eyes sneaking a glance at McNally.

"Well, that's what you said you wanted right? _Just biding time until a spot in Gangs & Guns opens up_? So are you taking it?" Andy inquired nervously.

"Thinking about it," Sam answered calmly, bringing the squad car into the lot. "It hasn't been officially offered yet, but Donahue's been talking like it's a done deal. Once they tell me, I have 24 hours to accept before they pass it along to the next guy."

"Well, it's been good working with you. Thanks for all your guidance over these past months. Good luck," Andy sputtered out curtly before hopping out of the car and slamming the door behind her.

"Wait, McNally! What's the matter with you?" Sam yelled, chasing after her. "That's it? What? You're mad at me?"

Andy turned on her heel and looked at him angrily, "What do you expect me to say, Sam? You say things like, 'There's no one else I'd rather be doing this with,' but at the end of the day you're still just biding time to get back to Guns& Gangs! After all we've been through," she exclaimed, fighting back tears.

"Well, after all this time, you don't exactly trust me, Andy. I had to hear about you and Callahan's break up from Jerry! Oh, I get it. Now you don't have Princess Callahan, so you need me around to stick around and cheer you up? Is that it?"

"Are you kidding me, Sam? You're the one with the savior complex. You're always trying to make the problems I had with Luke sound miniscule. If you hadn't been telling me all that crap, I might have broken up with him weeks ago!"

"Well, forgive me for trying to make your life a little easier, McNally! I thought that maybe a reassuring chat once in a while might help you focus on the important stuff, like your job. I thought we were friends."

Andy shook her head and scoffed, "You know what, Sam? I don't wanna be your friend. Friends don't abandon each other. You didn't even tell me you were seeing Monica again! " Andy finally sighed, "This is why I don't leap into fire." She stormed out of the garage into the building, leaving Sam utterly confused.

Later that night at the Penny. .

"Hey, Sammy! We ordered you a beer while we were waiting. Monica joining us tonight?" Oliver asked patting the empty chair beside him.

"Yeah, she said she'd try to stop by. She's taking care of a few last minute things at the hospital and then she's meeting me here." Sam scanned the room, looking for the rookies. "Penny seems quiet tonight. Where is everyone?"

Jerry blurted, "Supposedly, Dov and McNally are moving in together now that Peck is moving in with Diaz, and McNally didn't renew her lease. They're having a moving-in party. Tracy and Dex are helping in with the move in," he informed them with a sad sigh.

"Come on, buddy. I thought you were getting over this," Oliver said, patting his friend on the back supportively. "There are plenty of fish in the sea."

Sam frowned, lost in his thoughts. "Wait, why didn't McNally renew her license?"

"Oh ho ho, you didn't hear?" Oliver grinned, eager to relay the story he had heard from his rookie. "McNally agreed to move in the Callahan. He had bought them a house and everything. Then, the weekend before the big move, Andy breaks it off with Luke. Luckily, Dov had been eyeing a two bedroom since Peck's moving in with Diaz."

Sam's eyes widened. Andy hadn't told him about the move-in, let alone the break-up. Attempting to brush off his frustration, he shrugged, "Well, that's too bad." He looked up to see Monica heading over to them and plastered a smile on his face.

"Phew!" Dov let out a huge sigh as he plopped onto the sofa beside Andy. "Thank God Tracy brought Dex! I wasn't too sure about the guy, but it was nice of him to help with the move in."

"Yeah, I guess he has his moments," Andy agreed. "Dov, thanks for inviting me to move in with you. With everything that's going on, it's great not to have to worry about where I'm living."

"Are you kidding me? Now that Chris and Ice Queen are our loft the "Love Nest" it'll be great to have a new single roommate. Just me and my wing-woman! You are up for that aren't you?" he looked over, grinning at his friend.

"Suuure, as long as you don't insist on hooking me up with anyone in return," she smiled back.

Dov shot back, "Of course not. I know you already have someone in mind. It's only a matter of time."

"What the hell does that mean?" Andy inquired with a puzzled lou ook on her face.

"C'mon, Andy. It's not a secret that you and Swarek have some weird thing going on. I mean, those longing looks and awkward silences. You can cut the sexual tension with a knife."

"Dov, you're so mistaken. He's…he's my partner, and he was my training officer. And besides, we're friends," she said, hoping the conversation would stop there.

"Ohh, really? Then, why did you seem so upset when I told you he was seeing that hot doctor chick?"

"She, is hot isn't she?" Andy exhaled wistfully. "She looks like Charlize Theron."

""Yeah, like in Monster!" Dov chimed in, trying to stop his new roommate from pouting. Andy rolled her eyes, and two friends had a good laugh before retiring for the night.

End Chapter. To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

Again, I do not own Rookie Blue, nor any of its characters. This is a continuation of Taking the Risk. Thanks so much for the great reviews! Please let me know if you have suggestions :)

Chapter2

"You will not believe the morning I've had," Tracy exclaimed, following Andy into the locker room.

"Why, what happened?" Andy asked. She had learned to anticipate Tracy's morning complaints concerning Dex. No matter how hard Andy tried, she just couldn't see the two of them together long term, but she continued to play the role of the supportive best friend.

"Well, you know how I told you Leo has his afterschool dress rehearsal for the school play today? So I had asked Dex to pick it up from the cleaners this morning and send it to school with Leo. Of course, he can't even manage to get that right. Leo called me from school because Dex forgot it and didn't even bother to drive home and get it for him. I had to drive all the way back home and drop it off!"

"Oooh," Andy frowned. "Didn't you have that meeting with Best today?"

"Yeah," Tracy groaned, fastening her belt. "I must have made a hell of an impression walking in fifteen minutes late.

"I'm sorry, Trace. I'm sure he knows everybody has bad days. Besides, your number one priority is Leo, which is as it should be," Andy replied reassuringly.

Gail popped her head into the room. "Hey, guys! Just reminding you we've got parade in 15," she smiled sweetly before skipping away.

Andy turned and looked at Tracy incredulously. "Is it just me, or was Gail being nice?"

"Haha, guess the Love Nest is a big hit," Tracy jested. "I'm just hoping it stays this way. I've got enough to deal with. Speaking of which, how's it going with Sam? Has he gotten that offer from Donahue yet?"

Andy got up from the bench, shaking her head. "Apparently, it's not official yet, but it looks like they really want him. So I guess he'll take the position as soon as it's available."

Tracy looked up at her friend, "Are you okay? I mean, have you talked to him about it?"

"Oh yeah, we talked about it. We got into a little fight yesterday after shift. Made a real idiot out of myself!"

"What? Why didn't you tell me last night when we were moving? What did you say?" she said, goading her friend to continue.

"Nothing… I didn't even wanna talk about it at first, but then he brought it up. And I guess I made it clear that I was upset about him leaving…and about him seeing Monica," Andy admitted, wincing as she looked up at Tracy.

"Oh my God! I can't believe it! You won't even admit that to me! What did he say?"

"He didn't say anything," Andy replied. "I didn't give him a chance to. I didn't even mean to say it. I just blurted it out. And now I have to go back to work with him" she moaned, covering her face with her hands. "This is gonna be so awkward."

Tracy attempted to lighten the mood as they shuffled out of the room and into the hall, "Hey! You walked in on Dov dancing naked in the bathroom this morning. Now that's awkward!"

~/~

Their shift had been painfully silent, and Sam was utterly grateful when it came to an end. After dealing with two major traffic accidents, a domestic disturbance, and a public decency complaint, he was ready to stop by the Penny and end his day with a drink and good laugh with his friends. The situation with Andy had become more uncomfortable, and they refused to confront the fight they had had the day before. Donahue had finally given him the official offer that morning, but Sam wasn't in the mood to bring that up with McNally again. Monica called him in the afternoon and when she asked about whether he had gotten the offer yet, he felt a pang of guilt telling her the news before he told his partner. He was still upset with McNally for not informing him about the recent changes in her life, but he had wanted to update her all the same. After changing out of his uniform and signing out, Sam headed out of the barn and caught up with Oliver and Noelle at the bar.

"Well, well. I heard from a reliable source that you spent the day chasing after a naked man at the supermarket" Noelle laughed.

Oliver roared, "I would have paid big money to see that pal!"

Sam shook his head, giving them a slight grin as he sat down. "Well, that's the last time I let Epstein stand back while I do the dirty work. You, know he and Peck were actually the first at the scene." He smile vanished when he saw Monica enter the bar, followed by Andy. _Oh, shit._

_~/~_

"Thanks," Monica sniffed quietly as she walked past Andy and Dov, who was holding the door open. She turned around to look at them as Dov tried to initiate conversation.

"So, Dr. Dunn, I hear you and Sam are dating…again."

"Yes, we are," Monica responded smugly. Andy couldn't tell why Monica was staring at her when she replied, but she was certain that despite her smile, Monica's demeanor was less than cordial.

"Well, I have a tab going for all our training, or should I say _former, _training officers, so just mention your name when you order!"

"Thanks, Dov," Monica smiled as she turned to walk towards the bar.

"_Yes we are_!" Andy mimicked, making a face as she watched Monica walk over and kiss Sam.

"Hahaha, dude, you're so jealous!" Dov laughed, sitting down next to Tracy at their usual table.

"I'm NOT jealous, okay? I just think she's annoying. She's just so…chipper."

"Chipper?" Dov and Tracy asked in unison.

"Yeah, you know, those chipper girls in high school who were always good at everything and were head of the student council and cheerleading and the chastity club?"

"Whoa, that sounds like Dov's high school experience," Tracy joked, giving Dov a playful nudge.

"Hey, you know what? I'll have you know that the president of the chastity club is always the first to lose it." He turned to Andy, giving her a serious look. "Andy, I wouldn't be too worried if I were you. It's not gonna last."

Andy shrugged, "Who said I was worried? I don't care. It's just... he's just my partner, albeit not for long, and I just don't think they're well suited, that's all."

Dov and Tracy gave each other a knowing look. "I give up!" Dov cried. "I'll get us another round."

Tracy turned toward Andy once Dov left the table. "You know he's right? You're jealous and it shows."

"Tracy-"

"No, Andy, listen to me, okay? This guy has been fawning over you since day one. Now, I don't know if you just ignored it or didn't notice it, but the guy has seriously fallen for you."

"Oh, really? "Andy fired back. "Then why is he with Dr. Dunn?"

"Andy, Dov's right. Look at them!" The two friends turned to observe the couple in question. "That relationship is passionless. I've seen more chemistry between field mice!"

Andy giggled. "And she seems so boring," Tracy added.

"Ohh, come on, Trace!"

"Andy, I know you try to be nice to everyone, but that woman is boring."

Dov returned to the table with three beers. "What did I miss?"

"I was just telling Andy how Monica is boring," Tracy said, taking a sip of her beer.

"Oh, totally!" Dov agreed. " Andy, she's like .. uh… watery mac and cheese. And you're like…vindaloo curry!" he offered. The two women gave each other a look before bursting into laughter.

"Dov," Andy giggled, "from where do you get these analogies?"

~/~

Sam parked his car in front of Monica's condo and paused for a minute.

"So," she asked sweetly, brushing his hair back, "ready for Guns&Gangs tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I've decided against that," he replied, continuing to look forward into the street. "I just don't feel like now's the right time. I'm happy where I am."

Monica moved her hand away from Sam and her tone became testy, "I thought that's what you wanted. You waited almost eight months for this."

"Well, things change I guess. You know how it is," he sighed.

"No, Sam. I don't know how it is. What I _do_ know is that Andy McNally's going to continue to be your partner," she answered in a huff.

"Yeah, so? We've worked together for months now."

"That's not gonna work for me, Sam." Monica knew that giving a man like Sam an ultimatum was risky, but she was confident that the rekindling of their relationship was a sign that he was fully committed.

"What do you mean, it's not gonna work for you?" he replied annoyed. "She's my partner. We have each other's backs."

"What about me, Sam? You know this makes me uncomfortable. I don't like the way she looks at you...Or you her."

Sam responded defensively to her complaint, raising his voice a little. "Monica, I don't know what you're talking about. If you're bent on giving me this ultimatum, if you don't trust me, then all I can say is that this relationship has already ended." Sam was surprised to hear himself suggest that their newly rekindled relationship was over so soon. "You know I'd never cheat. I'm not that kind of a guy," he said gently.

"Sam, I know you'd never physically cheat on me. But having feelings for someone else while you're with me is still cheating. I need you to request a partner change," she said assertively.

"I can't do that, Monica. I'm sorry," he said, turning to look at her in the eyes.

"Me too," she answered before getting out of the car and walking away.

Sam looked at the street in front of him. He now felt as if a weight had been lifted over his shoulders.


	3. Chapter 3

Taking the Risk – Chapter 3

Once again, I do not own Rookie Blue or any of its characters.

This is a small chapter. I'll update as soon as finals finish!

Chris was ecstatic about his first day back on the streets. Not only was he finally fully approved to get back to work after his stabbing, but Gail's move-in had gone smoothly and they had been living together for weeks now. So far, there had been no fights- well no major fights, anyway. He'd just have to get used to all her new revisions to the apartment and she'd have to get use to his insistence on recycling everything.

Dov had kept him in the loop about all the gossip: Tracy's relationship with Dex is spiraling fast, Oliver's wife wants to have another baby, Andy and Luke broke up, and Noelle is dating a mystery man, whose identity everyone is eager to find out. Chris couldn't wait to stop by the Penny after shift, with Gail on his arm once again.

During a quiet hour in the cruiser with Sam, Chris attempted to strike up a friendly conversation with his partner. "So? How are you? H-how's Dr. Dunn? Everything going well?" he asked excitedly.

Sam raised his eyebrows and gave a quick annoyed glance at his beaming partner. "What makes you think that's any of your business, Diaz?"

A confused Chris answered nervously, "Oh, I-I thought we were friends, sir. You- you visited me at the hospital and you brought me that fern..."

Sam felt bad for his stuttering partner but couldn't help messing with him. "And you think that makes us buddies?"

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to pry!"

Sam finally chuckled a little. "Settle down, Diaz! I'm just messing with you. Actually, I'm not seeing Monica anymore."

"Oh, are you okay, sir?" Diaz inquired.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine," Sam answered back nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on the road. "Some things just don't work out."

"But I heard that last night Guns&Gangs gave you an offer! That's so cool!" Diaz shook his head in admiration.

"Yeah, well, I told Donahue I'd pass."

Diaz expressed his shock at his partner's admission. "What? But, they get to do all those cool operations! And you have so much undercover experience!"

"It's not really what I want right now." Sam didn't understand why he was so willing to divulge his inner thoughts to his partner, but something about Diaz's sincerity put him at ease. "You know, you do this job for a while, and things become clearer. Working undercover operations is great but sometimes you need an anchor."

Chris smiled at his partner's appreciatively at his partner's confession. "Well, at least Andy will stop moping around now," he offered.

Sam was intrigued. "She's been moping?" he asked, making a turn.

Chris knew he had sparked Sam's curiosity. He, more so than anyone else, had noticed Sam's interest in Andy. His erratic and hostile behavior at the officer re-training, his general disdain of Detective Callaghan, his longing looks at Andy—it all made sense. "Yeah, she—you know—cares about you, sir."

"Cares about me?" Sam raised his eyebrows. "She sure has a funny way of showing it. She nearly tore my head off the other day."

"Well, Gail acted like she hated my guts after Andy and I reported Bibby to Sergeant Best. Look at us now!" Chris exclaimed proudly.

"Yeah, about that, Diaz. You might want to wipe the lipstick off your cheek," Sam smirked as his partner frantically scrubbed his face.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 of Taking the Risk

I do not own Rookie Blue or any of its characters. Thank you for all the supportive reviews. Please continue to let me know how I'm doing! Enjoy!

~/~

The rookies headed straight for the Penny after work, each promising to buy Chris a drink to celebrate his first day back on the job. Everyone felt a sense of normalcy with Chris back at work, although Andy and Tracy had both experienced drastic changes in their personal lives.

"So, how's Leo dealing with the split and moving back with you to the apartment?" Andy asked her best friend, patting her arm genuinely while waiting for their order.

"Well, Leo was a little upset at first, but I think it'll be better for him in the long run. I think once he realizes that his dad and I are better when we're not together, he'll come around."

Andy nodded her head in agreement as they walked back to the table with a tray of drinks. "Yeah, you're totally right. As hard as it was growing up in a single parent home, I think it would have been miserable if my mother and father were still together. At least Leo still has the both of you."

As they sat down, Chris turned to Andy with a smile. "So Andy, you didn't finish your story about Bo jangles here!"

Everyone except for Dov roared with laughter as Andy got up and mimicked her roommate's electric slide. "You know what? There're enough embarrassing things I _could_ say about my roommate, but lucky for her, _I_ am a gentleman" Dov asserted comically.

-/-

Sam had been drinking with Oliver and Jerry at the other side of the bar, watching his partner as she laughed with her friends.

"You know she's single now right?" Oliver said, interrupting his friend's gaze. "And she's technically not your rookie anymore. So if anything were to happen…"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sam replied quickly.

"Come on, Sammy!" Jerry interjected. "You two are always calling me out about Tracy. At least McNally is available. It's about time you said something. If not for you, do it for me. I had to work with her today, and she was sulking the entire time."

"Well, Jerry, that might be just because she had to work with you!" Sam jested, leaving a bill for his drink. "I'm gonna call it a night guys." Sam headed for the back door, tempted to get one last look at Andy.

From the other side of the bar, Andy watched impatiently as her former training officer made his way to the exit, trying to decide whether to follow him or not. She couldn't figure out whether she wanted to continue being angry with him or apologize and explain her outburst.

Just as Andy was about to return her attentions to her friends, Dov leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Go get him already!"

Turning to smile at her friend, Andy got up, exclaimed a quick "Bye guys!" and headed for the bar door.

-/-

Sam had his key in the car door, when he heard Andy call his name.

"Hey!" she blurted out when she caught up to him, trying to catch her breath.

"Hey," he answered back.

After a minute of staring at each other awkwardly, Andy decided to take initiative. "Look, I want to apologize for the other day. Umm… I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It's just… I was really upset that I'm never going to see you anymore."

"Andy—"

"No, Sam, please let me get this out," she pleaded. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "You wanna know why I didn't tell you about breaking up with Luke? I was guilty. I was guilty because every time I feel upset or scared, I want to talk to you. Not Luke. Every time I hear something funny, I look to you to see if you think it's funny, too. Not Luke. And the passion I feel, I feel for you. Not Luke. Never Luke."

Sam looked back at her in awe. He had never expected such a confession from Andy.

She resumed from her pause, "I tried. I really did try to love him. Because he's a good guy and he does care about me, in his own way. And because continuing to love you the way I do means there's a chance you can hurt me. So I tried to love him. But I couldn't do it. And by the time I realized that, it was too late." She paused briefly to collect her thoughts. "Look, I really want you to be happy. I do, even if it's with Monica. But now you're leaving, too. I know you warned me in the beginning. Guns & gangs was always the plan, but I guess I thought, after everything we've been through, things had changed."

"Things did change, Andy," Sam said softly. Stepping towards her, he gently lifted her chin and looked her in the eyes. "I thought it would be easier to accept you were with Luke by joining Guns& gangs, and trying to move on with Monica. But the truth is the only future I want is with you. I know you're scared. I know there's a chance we could both get hurt." He paused, taking both of her hands in his, "But I'm ready to take that chance, and I'm not going anywhere until you're ready, too."

"I have issues," Andy warned.

"So do I, Andy. We'll deal with them together. You and me."

"Does this mean you're still my partner, Officer Swarek?" she smiled, leaning her body on his.

Sam looked down at her and kissed her passionately. "McNally, I am your partner, I am your boyfriend, and I will be holding your hand."


End file.
